Here’s The Only Actor Who SHOULD Play Joe Exotic (And No, It’s NOT Nicholas Cage)

Like pretty much everyone else who's been holed up at home for the last month, I have binged watched the Netflix documentary, Tiger King, more than once.

It's not even that it was a great story; it was just so dang WEIRD that I couldn't stop watching.

At this point, after two binges and sixteen hours of my life that I'll never get back, I have a vested interest in these characters. So, when talks of a movie began making the rounds, I started to compile my dream cast.

As someone in the Tiger King Memes Facebook group (yes, there is such a thing, and yes, I'm a member of it) pointed out, Lisa Kudrow would be the perfect Carole Baskin, and I'm ten million percent here for that. If anyone other than Matthew McConaughey plays John Reinke, that is NOT alright, alright, alright. Give Ryan Gosling a prosthetic meth mouth, because he'd play a great John Finlay.

Who should play Joe Exotic, though...that's a polarizing issue.

This week, CBS Television Studios ripped the rug from underneath the internet, when they announced that Nicholas Cage had been cast as Joe Exotic in their upcoming 8-episode miniseries.

Look, I don't hate Nicholas Cage. The National Treasure movies are, themselves, national treasures.

So I say this will all objectivity: NICHOLAS. CAGE. IS. NOT. THE. RIGHT. PERSON. TO. PLAY. JOE. EXOTIC.

Before you come at me with your, "David Spade is the only person who should play Joe Exotic" rants (which, I'll admit, isn't an awful idea, since he'd basically just be reprising his role as Joe Dirt), I'll just leave this here for you to consider:

I apologize for the language in the original caption, but you've gotta admit: Michael Keaton would be an AMAZING choice for the role of Joe Exotic!