Teach Your Children How To Help

"Merry Christmas, little daughters! I’m glad you began at once and hope you will keep on. But I want to say one word before we sit down. Not far away from here lies a poor woman with a little newborn baby. Six children are huddled in one bed to keep from freezing, for they have no fire. There is nothing to eat over there… My girls, will you give them your breakfast as a Christmas present?" If you remember just one scene from Little Women, you remember the March girls packing up the breakfast they had prepared and taking it to the poor Hummel’s house, leaving themselves with just bread and milk.  And you remember asking your nine- or ten-year-old self, "Would I do that!?" While Marmee used guilt to induce her children to give to the poor, there are other ways to introduce philanthropy that put the joy in giving.   What do charity and giving do for children?  Acts of charity teach kids empathy and social responsibility.  Kids get valuable life lessons from giving and volunteering.  They can learn time management and the importance of teamwork. It also exposes them to new ideas and new interests that can last a lifetime.  So, is it ever too early to introduce charity to a child?  Nope!    Givz.com, a retail alliance that initiates consumer philanthropy, has broken down ways to teach giving by your child’s age, beginning with your very youngest.   While the concept of giving to charity is lost on toddlers, they do know emotions. Talk to them about their feelings and about how other people feel. Ask what they think others are feeling, and give them positive reinforcement when they show empathy, caring, and compassion. By preschool, children are still developing many of the emotional mileposts necessary to understand charity and giving; however, your child is already practicing compassion without knowing it!  Helping around the house, smiling at someone on the street, holding doors open for people who need a hand, or visiting a sick relative is still charity because it warms someone's heart.  They will be pleased to learn that they're actually helping. While talking about kindness, helping, and taking responsibility for our world and the people around us is important, so is showing them how you practice it. Just picking up some trash as you walk through your neighborhood can be a learning opportunity about how they can help. Support this lesson by praising your kids when you see them take action and responsibility, no matter how small a difference they make. This gives context to the abstract idea of helping others.  In the early elementary grades, focus on their curiosity. Whatever subjects they’re interested in, the environment, the arts, or animals, there’s an opportunity for charitable support.  Help them to learn more about those topics and ways people can get involved.  This is the age when site visits and family volunteering become a doable possibility.  Once kids begin to have money, through odd jobs or through an allowance, it’s time to introduce categorizing money into “spending,” “savings,” and “donating” buckets to make charity a part of their routine. Consider a family "Giving Jar" where everyone can contribute.  At the end of the month, have a family discussion to decide where the money will go.    By middle school, your child may become involved in organized school charity drives, community-oriented projects for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or public service through scouting and other youth organizations.  Support their efforts and learn more about them together to understand the real-world effects their efforts are producing.  In high school, volunteering helps kids build soft skills and confidence that will help them throughout their life. If college is the next step, their efforts here will improve their admissions opportunities. For young people looking for a job, volunteer positions will kickstart their resumes. Speaking of jobs, volunteerism can introduce career paths. Volunteering at a nonprofit, a hospital, or a political campaign office may give your child a glimpse of what it’s like to work there.   Making philanthropy and giving part of each day can enhance your child’s entire life. It’s never too early or too late to begin!