FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Jenny Bender’s WORST Haircuts

Author Jenny Bender | Kicks Wake Up Krew

September 25th, 2020 11:33 AM

Earlier this week, we celebrated National Redhead Day. I’m proud to be a redhead, but I’ll admit that I have sported some pretty cringeworthy hairstyles.

Since today is Flashback Friday, I thought I’d share some of my WORST hair moments:

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  A hybrid of the bowl cut AND the mullet, the Bowl-et offers you the practicality of a bowl with the high fashion of a mullet. What can I say? It was that awkward gray area in the early 90s, when we were still hanging onto parts of the 80s for dear life.

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  I used to love to play this game called, "Let me sneak into the bathroom and see how short I can cut my own bangs." 10/10 would NOT recommend, although there was no telling four year old me that.

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  I also loved this game called, "Let me cut my bangs super short and STILL use a hairband for no reason at all." Another game that 10/10 would not recommend.
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  In kindergarten, I ditched the back of the bowl-let and sported the original bowl. I remember this picture day like it was yesterday; I was super self-conscious because I had recently fallen and hurt my cheek (hence the bruise) and was just NOT feeling picture day that day.

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  In the fall of 2nd grade, I entered into what I call the "Feathers & Turtlenecks" era. I'm not proud of it, but in the big scheme of things, this was relatively low on the cringe scale.

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  In spring of 2nd grade, I thought, "You know what would probably look ultra cool? Just sticking a giant bow on the top of my head and wearing a shirt that's been wadded up in the bottom of my drawer for weeks without ironing it."
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  You'd think that by 3rd grade, I'd have grown out of the whole "cut my own bangs" phase, but nah. I'm not sure what's worse: the crookedness, or my sad attempt at layering the side, which looks like a key hook sticking into my eyebrow.

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  In 5th grade, I decided to try and grow my hair out a little longer - and also experimented with poofing my bangs up like my Barbie dolls. An all-around fail.

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  Sixth grade was probably one of the most awkward years of my existence, and this picture explains a lot of that. For my start-of-school haircut, my parents took me to a new salon called "Raffles" in Mooresville, North Carolina, and I literally started crying when the stylist spun the chair around and I saw myself in the mirror. It took forever for this botched cut to grow out (and obviously, we never darkened the door of Raffles again - hey, even people who wear bowl cuts and mullets have standards, man.)
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  By 7th grade, I had started to figure out what worked (and what didn't.) The shoulder-length style worked well for me, but I still wasn't willing to let go of my precious bangs - so the mission then became to see how much I could poof them with a 1-inch curling barrel.

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  I'd like to tell you that once I got to high school, I had a better handle on my sense of style. But, as you can see from my 11th grade yearbook picture, that was NOT the case. I was obsessed with Faith Hill & Natalie Maines' pixie cuts, and decided to see if I could pull it off. It was cool for about a week, and then Faith Hill got extensions and Natalie Maines went all wacky, so I threw away all of my Dixie Chicks CD's- and all that was left was this pixie cut, which took what seemed like actual forever to grow out.

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Author Jenny Bender | Kicks Wake Up Krew

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